I Gave Him My Music

More tube musings....


Worse than giving him my heart....I gave him my music

I could have gone wading knee deep in love, got caught up with heart flutterings, given into the belly butterflies and the sweet words and mutterings.
Instead I took time, laid back style, wanted to foster a true connection, appreciate his philosophy, learn his dreams before handing over my affection.
 On a plate....

The conversation was a deep crimson red, charged and alive, banter flowed like an electrical current, sparked by passionate curiosity and a delightful ignorance of each other.
Musical exploration was our sex text talk, sharing that which we felt was spiritual, secretly whispering lyrics which represented our minds and captivated our souls.

We were guided through each others perspectives, motives and prerogatives by basslines and metronomes, we explored hopes, dreams and plans to word play and crescendos, progressing from adagio to allegro and drifting into a nocturne.
From a capella to harmony, we hit that falsetto....

And not just that Boom Boom Pow way or that Freak Me, Sex Is On Fire, Let's Get It On, Oochie Wally type musical connection...this was some Do You Feel Me, Pass Me Over, Honey Molasses type bond mixed with summa that Untitled ish.

I gave him my lovers rock, my soulful house, my neo soul, my slow jams, my new jack swing, my classical, my indie, my motown, my hip hop, my jazz, my bashment. All the pieces to the puzzle of my fragmented persona.

I even almost gave him the Unthinkable
But when it came to that moment in honesty and someone had to take the lead that night, I did sit right there and tell him all that came to me....and concluded that if I did the unthinkable it WOULD make me look crazy.

When I saw his true colours shining through, I realised they did not match my palette and could not fit with my spectrum
We neither complimented nor co-ordinated, his hue clashed with mine. I excused and 'pooh poohed' and consistently refused, to acknowledge our colour schemes could not blend, but the inevitable was undeniable. I was Living My life Like It's Golden, he was goin on Shady and his real self would not stand up. So I was left with the Aftermath.


I have no bitter words for him, no regrets, no anymosity.....I only wish I hadn't given him the music.

Miss CS x